I have recently been reading Having a Mary Spirit, by Joanna Weaver. My good friend Jessica got it for me for my birthday. Yes, my birthday was in April, but I am a slow reader.
As I was reading chapter 7 "A Willing Spirit" I read about the Many things Mary did right. I have much to learn here.
An obedience and willingness to say yes to God.
May it be to me as you have said. (Luke 1:38)
A heart that believes the impossible and responded with praise.
My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. (46-47)
A submission to God's will and His timing.
She treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. (2:19)
A heart that made requests but refused to make demands.
Do whatever He tells you to do. (John 2:5)
Weaver writes, "I want my life to be a Bethlehem. I want to be a portal through which Christ may come into my world. I want my heart to be a womb in which Jesus is not only birthed, but also a throne from which He rules and reigns." (pg 106)
I have so much to learn. I am so strong willed and hate when my plans change, so saying yes to God is very hard. Saying yes to moving to Nebraska was immensely difficult. After praying for a miracle for my Dad's life to be spared, with faith that God would spare him, I do struggle to believe that God will do the impossible. I know He can, but the more we observe in our society, the less we see of God.
I am not a patient person. For many months I begged God to allow me to get pregnant with Alexander and again with Audrey. He was faithful and gave us two beautiful children. His timing was perfect. Audrey was the perfect healing for our suffering the loss of my father. Well, God's timing didn't seem so perfect when we moved to Nebraska less than one year after his death. It didn't seem perfect at all when I found out I was pregnant in July. I wasn't ready for another baby. I still don't feel ready for another baby even though he will be here in 11 weeks. Boy was I shocked, but I can't imagine Mary's state of shock. As Weaver mentioned, "Mary must have known she would be considered an adulterous woman and that Joseph would likely end their betrothal with a divorce." Unlike me, "She treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." (2:19)
This Christmas I don't intend to take away from the birth of Christ, our glorious Savior, but for a minute let us, me especially, consider Mary, who 33 years later "watched Jesus die on the dark hill of Golgotha." (pg. 103)
