When I first read the title of Stacey's
new book, "Fresh Out of Amazing" I thought, oh, that looks like a
good book, I'm excited to read it because I love to read Stacey's writing, but
I don't think I am fresh out of amazing. I felt that I did a pretty good
job, I get my kids to school and church on time, my daughter always has a bow
in her hair, I cook a home cooked dinner each night, feed my family organic,
have my kids do school work even in the summer, I teach Sunday School, I tutor
in the evenings, and I exercise daily. Don't get me wrong, I
struggle. I suffer when my kids are sick. I had a car wreck last
year that caused me so much anxiety, fear, and even resulted in stress induced
shingles. It was after my wreck that I began searching for peace, hope, and
joy. I've been a Christian since a young age and my husband is a pastor,
but boy was I stuck in fear. I began reading. Yes, I was a reading
teacher for years, but I never enjoyed reading myself. I picked up every
Christian author that might help me out of my deep dark pit. This was
when I came across Stacey and Brooke's book, "Hope for the Weary
Mom." It's taken a long time, but I thought I was doing better. A
new school year was starting and I wasn't afraid to get in the car and get my
kid from school. I'm not perfect, but I thought I was doing pretty
well. Then I got a smack in the face. My mom started dating.
My dad has been gone for almost six years now. I've grieved his death so
hard. He was amazing.
My mom's new relationship has driven
us apart. Although we live a few hours away from one another we are very
close. I am so much like her it is scary at times. My mom pressured
me to meet the guy and I told her I wasn't ready. She didn't like
that. I always try to please my mom, but this time I wasn't
willing. She involved other family members and friends and I felt
attacked. She agreed I didn't have to meet him, but when visiting the
tension was so high you could cut it with a knife. More information came
out about the seriousness of their relationship as well as personal details
about the man. I had to make a strong principled stand for things that I
have been taught are unacceptable. I can't support my mom and this fast
paced relationship. I've been bullied and attacked with little to no
support other than my husband and his family. So this girl who thought
she wasn't fresh out of amazing is now completely fresh out of amazing. I
can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't make my legs move fast while running.
I've pleaded with God to reveal to my mom the serious risks to which she is
blind. I've asked God to give her wisdom and return her heart to her
Lord, not to a man of this earth. My desperation is as deep as the
desperate prayers I plead when my father was dying. I was willing to give
up anything for him to live. I've been willing to give up anything to
maintain my close relationship with my mom. Some days I am so angry that
it is almost impossible to come before my God. I feel like
Habakkuk. I'm wrestling with God. I've been sitting on my watchpost
waiting for God to answer.
In her book, Stacey writes, "God
knows that the place where we learn to look for him is in the depths of fresh
out of amazing. It is where broken hearts are healed, where we learn to
find light in the darkness, and where, by his grace, we can know joy in our
sorrow."
I'm
at my breaking point and I'm waiting on this big story. It's incredibly
difficult for me to wait because I am a results person. I want something
done and I get up and do it. I've come to the point where I can't do any
more. I've cried, I've screamed, I've prayed and asked others to
pray. I've given my mom every reason and scripture that this isn't a good
idea. As Stacey points out from 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient
for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that
Christ’s power may rest on me."
