Fresh Out of Amazing by Stacey Thacker

When I first read the title of Stacey's new book, "Fresh Out of Amazing" I thought, oh, that looks like a good book, I'm excited to read it because I love to read Stacey's writing, but I don't think I am fresh out of amazing.  I felt that I did a pretty good job, I get my kids to school and church on time, my daughter always has a bow in her hair, I cook a home cooked dinner each night, feed my family organic, have my kids do school work even in the summer, I teach Sunday School, I tutor in the evenings, and I exercise daily.  Don't get me wrong, I struggle.  I suffer when my kids are sick.  I had a car wreck last year that caused me so much anxiety, fear, and even resulted in stress induced shingles. It was after my wreck that I began searching for peace, hope, and joy.  I've been a Christian since a young age and my husband is a pastor, but boy was I stuck in fear.  I began reading. Yes, I was a reading teacher for years, but I never enjoyed reading myself.  I picked up every Christian author that might help me out of my deep dark pit.  This was when I came across Stacey and Brooke's book, "Hope for the Weary Mom." It's taken a long time, but I thought I was doing better.  A new school year was starting and I wasn't afraid to get in the car and get my kid from school.  I'm not perfect, but I thought I was doing pretty well.  Then I got a smack in the face.  My mom started dating.  

My dad has been gone for almost six years now.  I've grieved his death so hard.  He was amazing. 
 My mom's new relationship has driven us apart.  Although we live a few hours away from one another we are very close.  I am so much like her it is scary at times.  My mom pressured me to meet the guy and I told her I wasn't ready.  She didn't like that.  I always try to please my mom, but this time I wasn't willing.  She involved other family members and friends and I felt attacked.  She agreed I didn't have to meet him, but when visiting the tension was so high you could cut it with a knife.  More information came out about the seriousness of their relationship as well as personal details about the man.  I had to make a strong principled stand for things that I have been taught are unacceptable.  I can't support my mom and this fast paced relationship.  I've been bullied and attacked with little to no support other than my husband and his family.  So this girl who thought she wasn't fresh out of amazing is now completely fresh out of amazing.  I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't make my legs move fast while running.  I've pleaded with God to reveal to my mom the serious risks to which she is blind.  I've asked God to give her wisdom and return her heart to her Lord, not to a man of this earth.  My desperation is as deep as the desperate prayers I plead when my father was dying.  I was willing to give up anything for him to live.  I've been willing to give up anything to maintain my close relationship with my mom.  Some days I am so angry that it is almost impossible to come before my God.  I feel like Habakkuk.  I'm wrestling with God.  I've been sitting on my watchpost waiting for God to answer. 

  
In her book, Stacey writes, "God knows that the place where we learn to look for him is in the depths of fresh out of amazing.  It is where broken hearts are healed, where we learn to find light in the darkness, and where, by his grace, we can know joy in our sorrow." 

I'm at my breaking point and I'm waiting on this big story.  It's incredibly difficult for me to wait because I am a results person.  I want something done and I get up and do it. I've come to the point where I can't do any more.  I've cried, I've screamed, I've prayed and asked others to pray.  I've given my mom every reason and scripture that this isn't a good idea.  As Stacey points out from 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."