This is Soooo Hard for Me

From 15 Days in the Word With John Piper

Let Jesus Argue with Your Soul About Being Anxious

"We should be slow to treat Jesus as if he doesn’t know what he is doing. He is not naïve in the way he deals with our anxiety. In Matthew 6:25-34 he tells us three times not to be anxious (vv. 25, 31, 34) and gives us eight reasons not to be anxious.

Evidently he thinks this will help. So don’t call it simplistic. Call it grace. Believe him. Take every reason and preach it to your soul as true. Say,

“Soul, this is true. Jesus Christ says so. Trust him. He died for you. He loves you. He created you. He knows you. No one — no counselor, no pastor, no friend — knows as much about you as he does. Listen to him. Let these reasons sink in. Bank on them. Now, let’s get up and do what we need to do. Be gone anxiety.”

Here’s a summary of what he said:

1. Life is more than food and the body more than clothing (Matthew 6:25).

2. God feeds the birds and you are more valuable than they are (Matthew 6:26).

3. It's pointless. It adds not one hour to your life (Matthew 6:27).

4. If God clothes ephemeral grass, he will clothe eternal you (Matthew 6:28-30).

5. Unbelievers are anxious about stuff. And you are not an unbeliever (Matthew 6:32a).

6. Your father knows that you need all these things you're anxious about (Matthew 6:32b).

7. When you seek first God's kingdom and righteousness, what you need is added to you (Matthew 6:33).

8. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Tomorrow's trouble stays there (Matthew 6:34)."

Hope - I stopped taking my anxiety meds about three weeks ago. They made me so sleepy I could barely function. All I wanted to do was sit in bed and watch tv. You all know that is not me.  I started taking the meds right after our car accident in early September. Initially I couldn't sleep, eat, or make myself get behind the wheel of the car. The meds helped, but I still struggled. I've always struggled with worrying. I worry about what my kids eat, what they wear, and mostly will they get sick. It is all about control. I am a control freak. I was also told that I have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, seriously. It is a bit different than OCD. 

This devotional was what I needed to hear, since I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that there is very little I can control and worrying about it certainly doesn't change anything. It's not that I don't have faith in God's goodness and perfect plan, but... I don't know. I'll keep praying about it.